A BRIEF SPIRITUAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY

At age seventeen, I was confirmed in a Missouri Synod Lutheran Church and failed to get satisfying answers to my spiritual questions. I left the church because I saw it as shallow and unfulfilling. My path led me to the East. After exploring existentialism and Buddhism, I became a full time disciple of A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami, the founder and spiritual master of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON), or Krishna Movement. This is a branch of the devotional movement started by Krishna Chaitanya, a fifteenth century Bengali saint and religious reformer. In parts of India, it is comparable in its popularity and influence to mainline Protestant religion here and is known as Gaudiya Vaishnavism. I was initiated and given the name Subal Das in Haight Ashbury by Bhaktivedanta in February, 1967.

That summer, I started a temple in New Mexico at his request. The next year, I was initiated as a brahmin or priest. In 1970, I was initiated into the Tridandi Goswami order of monks. My name at that time became Subal Das Goswami. I continued in that line until December, 1974 when I left the Krishna Movement because much of its leadership deviated from the teachings and engaged in corrupt, unethical practices. During the  eight years I was in the movement, I helped start eight temples; conducted numerous worship services; preached extensively throughout North America, Western Europe, India, Hawai'i, and Fiji; wrote theological articles; and was Associate Editor of the monthly journal "Back to Godhead". I taught in churches, colleges, universities, and high schools. I lived in India for almost three years as a renunciant, got to experience the religion in its homeland with various gurus and lived as an Indian religious practitioner would. This gave me the opportunity to meet with Indian spiritual leaders and study in the places of pilgrimage as well as organize large festivals where I addressed audiences of thousands.

I learned esoteric spiritual practices from Lalita Prasad Thakur, the brother of Bhaktivedanta's spiritual master. He is the son and disciple of Bhaktivinode Thakur. He adopted me into Bhaktivinode's true disciplic succession coming from Sri Jahnava Devi by giving me ragamarga initiation. He advised me to teach in the West rather than stay in India. My intuition also told me this.

I then studied and practiced tai chi, hatha yoga, Vedic astrology, Sufism and Tarot reading. I worked as a teacher and counselor in holistic health centers in Palo Alto, California, and Ashland, Oregon. I received a Bachelor of Arts degree in General Studies through study of Religion and the Whole based primarily on an evaluation of my life experiences from Paideia, a university without walls in San Francisco.

In 1979, I was State Networker for the New Age Caucus which lobbied for peace, environmental, holistic health and justice issues in California with its head office in Los Angeles. We worked with John Vasconcellos, Theodore Roszak, Hazel Henderson, Marilyn Ferguson, as well as other leading thinkers and writers on issues such as decentralization, feminism, the root sources of violence, solar energy development, alternative healthcare, cooperative community life styles, ecology, etc..

When the New Age Caucus lost its funding, I went to the Big Island of Hawai'i for a sabbatical period of retreat and meditation. One night, alone at the beach, I prayed that Jesus Christ would have mercy on me and take me under his protection. I felt his loving presence at that time. However, after reading Carl Jung one night, I prayed for guidance from the Great Spirit in dream as an Indian chief had done. Bhaktivedanta Swami appeared to me in dream and told me to rejoin his other disciples.

I did that and tried to reform the Krishna movement for nine months. I was told the only place in ISKCON I could be was the West Virginia “New Vrindaban” Krishna community. I became senior editor of the community's monthly magazine. I was based in Pittsburgh along with a press crew which came from New York. We were aware of the corruption that was rampant in the New Vrindaban community and worked to subvert it. Our loyalty became suspect. I was informed that goons were on their way to take me to West Virginia for questioning and that my life was in danger. I fled with my pregnant wife and two stepchildren, whom I had met in New Vrindaban, along with my two partners and their wives.

My wife had my son, and we moved to Ashland, OR. It was there that we received a gift subscription to "Sojourners" magazine. I was impressed with its peace and justice stance combined with a spiritual perspective. I saw that there were books in which the church was incorporating Eastern religious thought and practices. This encouraged me to look for a church that I might be able to fit into. I was tired of unstable fringe groups and wanted to be part of a more established tradition.

First Congregational United Church of Christ (UCC) had a worship service conducted by the women which included poetry, dance, music, slides, etc.. After attending it, I felt that this was a church that was open enough for me to get involved with. A couple of days later, I met with the pastor. I explained my background and interest in working with him. He welcomed me and  arranged for me to teach the correspondences between Eastern religion and Christianity to adult education groups. I joined the church on Pentecost, 1984. I served as a lay leader for four years.

I organized the Green Movement in Ashland. I was president of Oregon Fair Share, a Citizen Action group with fifty thousand member households. I was a professional organizer for Countdown '87, The Campaign to Stop Contra Funding. During this time, my wife and I separated. I then fell in love with and married my present wife. She has been providing me with love, companionship and a home life conducive to spiritual growth for twenty years.

While maintaining an eclectic universal philosophy based on love of God-dess (sanatan dharma), I found spiritual growth and social justice to be embodied in the church. I thought that if I wanted to reach as many people as possible with a spiritual message of love, peace, and justice, Christianity was the way. I felt called to be a full-time professional clergy, and I needed a seminary degree to do that.

I studied at San Francisco Theological Seminary and the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California and received a Master of Divinity degree. These schools are progressive Christian institutions as was my home church, First Congregational UCC in Ashland, Oregon. I was quite comfortable in these institutions. However, as my Oregon UCC Conference Minister warned me, “Don’t think all UCC churches are like this one.” They certainly weren’t.

I was ordained in the United Church of Christ in 1991. From 1991-2002, I served as the pastor of three congregations in Iowa, North Dakota and Michigan. Although the United Church of Christ (UCC) is the most progressive of the mainline Christian denominations, due to their autonomous nature, many of the congregations tend to be more conservative.

I am progressive to put it in more acceptable language and radical to be more honest. When I was younger, I sought to change society from the outside. As I got older and felt  comfortable in the UCC, I thought of bringing about change from within. I thought that as a pastor I could combine my passions for spirituality, peace, justice and the integrity of creation. I had a degree of success and have no regrets for the years I served in that capacity. I was able to touch many lives. Conservative elements who were comfortable with traditional “American civil religion” and “the church as social club” ran the local church I served. I decided to leave. After three tries, I could see my plan was not working as well as I had hoped.

I integrated the best of all the spiritual practices I learned into an eclectic universalism. In 2002, I established an independent ministry in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I moved to the Puna District of the Big Island of Hawai'i, in April, 2005. I continue my ministry here. I am still on a spiritual journey, and I invite you to share the journey with me.

 

A Theological Journey and Synthesis:  explains why I use two names

 

Copyright 2003-08 Steve Bohlert